Hoppy Easter (a day late...)

Hope everyone had a great Easter full of family, food, fun and fellowship if that's your gig. We went to church and made it until the semon and then had to go to the nursery. 40 minutes isn't too bad with a 1-year-old. That sounds weird to say "My daughter is 1."
She searched for eggs at her grandparents house, finally understanding to put the eggs in her basket. She also took six or seven steps several times for chocolate bunnies and M&M's, in wrappers of course, but STEPS!! Just days from running, walking is just around the corner. She is really trying as long as she is sure footed and not on our hardwood floors. My world is about to change before my very eyes. Wish me luck!!

Party notes

Everyone arrived on time and Lauren was sleeping, of course. She woke soon thereafter and opened LOTS of presents, then we went upstairs and sang (she clapped when we were done singing!!), she ate icing, not too much cake, had a bath, played with all kinds of new stuff, ate supper and later went to bed. What a great day!!

The next day, we went to the dr. for her one year appointment and he said what we already knew but didn't want to hear, "If she's not sleeping through the night, trust me, let her cry. She's fine. She's not hurt. Let her cry." Yeah, right.
We let her cry. 40 minutes the first night with a 20 minute break and then 20 more minutes of crying.
The next night, 2 hours of on and off crying.
The next night, SILENCE...
I don't know if she gave up on us or if I slept through it (which I doubt) but silence is what we got. Not that I slept seeing as how I am used to being up at all hours.
The next night, also SILENCE. I think we're on to something. I'll let you know...

One year ago today

I don't know why drs. (actually, insurance companies) think that in two short days, a woman who has given birth, has stuff coming out of everywhere (tears, other etc.), has gotten very little sleep and has no adult food at home is ready to bring home a baby who is just hours old. But they sent us on our merry way and we made it.
Doesn't seem possible that one year ago tonight, we were alone for the first time as our new family. It's all up to us. We make the decisions, right or wrong. We decide bedtime (ha-ha!!), feeding time (yeah right!), when to change her, how to dress her etc., etc., etc... Lots of resposibilities for two people who, until now, had to decide what to do this weekend, what movie to go see, where to go eat and those were the BIG decisions. Now it's what to feed her that isn't pure sugar. Where will she go to pre-school? There are waiting lists you know. How will she wear her hair once it gets long enough? Will she ever like to play in the grass as much as she likes the porch? I guess two days is enough training. Thank goodness the drs. and nurses get more, that's all I'm saying...

One year ago today, the love of our lives came in to this world. She is amazing everyday and this is what happened, moment by moment. Keep in mind that I typed this the day after she was born so that we wouldn't forget a thing. I'm glad John insisted I do it. ENJOY!!
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6:00 a.m.- Set our alarm last night for 5:00 a.m. but in anticipation and excitement, we were both awake most of the night, but got up at 4:45 a.m. We arrived at St. Mary’s to check in for my induction and had to be brought upstairs in a wheel chair and was put in room 3521 which was really close to the nurses station. The nurse who checked us in was Jill and she was great. She gave me my IV and I told her I was afraid of needles, so she left and came back with a small needle to give me a local before the IV. I didn’t even feel it go in at all, and John watched my face and the needle and said he could tell I didn’t feel it because my face didn’t change. She got off of work at 7:00 a.m. and then our nurse was Sheryl.

7:30 a.m.- They started my Pitocin. It went in through my IV. Dr. Brown came in to check me and said my cervix was still 2.5 and the cervix was still up high. She TRIED to break my water, but Lauren was still up way too high. Dr. Brown said she would be back later.

9:30 a.m.- Dr. Brown came back and said, “Any pain yet?” I was sitting in the glider rocker, reading the courier, watching Regis & Kelly and said, “Not really.” She said, “OK, I’ll be back later.”

10:00 a.m.- Rebecca and Bryan got here

10:15 a.m.- Mother and Dad got here and had a planter for us of flowers.

11:00 a.m.- Malee, Chuck and Mark got here, brought roses from John

12:30 p.m.- Dr. Brown came back. By this time, the Pitocin was at 21% and the highest the nurse could turn it without a doctors order was 30%. Dr. Brown asked again, “Any pain yet?” I still really felt nothing. The contraction monitor was registering my contractions at 80-83, I think it registered up to about the 130’s. Dr. Brown said, “OK. You have two choices. We can stop the Pitocin and come back next week and try again or I can try and break your water, but if I do, you have to have this baby in the next 24 hours one way or another.” I asked John, “What do you think?” He said, “I don’t know. Dr. what do you think?” She said, “I honestly think if I break your water, you will progress pretty fast.” I asked, “Does this increase my chance of c-section even more?” She said, “If you get pregnant, your chance of c-section is high anyway. I don’t want you to think that if this ends in cesarean that you have made the wrong choice. If we stop and come back, you may end up with one any way or if you had come in on your own you may have had to have one.” I said, “I don’t know.” She proceeded to check me and said, “OK, I need to know what you want me to do.” I looked at John and told her, “Go ahead and break it.”

12:35 p.m.- Almost immediately I felt a huge change. Seriously intense pain like none I had ever felt. Since the Pitocin was turned up so high before, I was not getting a break between contractions and the peaks and valleys were almost equal. John asked the nurse, “Is that supposed to be like that?” meaning were the contractions supposed to be that intense and close together. Sheryl said, “Well, I can back it down a little bit, but I don’t want to do it too much because we want to keep progressing.” She turned it down a little so I was getting about 1-2 minutes of rest, if you can call it that, between contractions. The only way I was able to deal with the pain was by putting my right hand over my eyes and focusing just basically on the black. I was moaning a lot, sort of like sad sounding singing. I know it was hard for mother to watch, but I think it may have been harder for John. He looked pretty upset and teary. I knew just what he meant. It is hard to see someone you love in pain. Especially that intense, and there is nothing you can do to help except sit patiently by and hope the pain ends quickly. I really wasn’t sure how long I could deal with that kind of pain. I had to get up and go to the bathroom. What a treat while in hard labor, trying to potty while having three contractions, one on top of the other. I was waiting for the epidural.

2:15 p.m.- The anesthesiologist came in and let me get through a contraction before starting my epidural. He said, “You will feel a sting and then a burn.” He was right. I did. John and Sheryl were in front of me and my head was on John’s chest. The pain from it was very manageable. He then told me, “About 50% of girls do feel this and 50% do not. This may feel like you have hit your funny bone, only in one of your hips.” I said, “OH!” and he said, “You are in the 50% that do. Which hip?” and I told him my left. “He said is the feeling gone?” I said, “It’s going away.” He told me that was caused by the cathedar bumping into the derma, but it would not hurt anything.

2:35 p.m.- The contractions became much more manageable, and by 2:40 p.m., I could feel the pressure, but not the pain. Mother came back in the room, and shortly so did everyone else.

2:55 p.m.- John and I decided that it was time for me to rest for a while since I knew I would need to rest prior to pushing and they all went to the family waiting room. We shut the blinds and turned off the TV and I shut my eyes.

3:50 p.m.- I turned over (the best I could) and told John I felt like I needed to pee. He said, “Call the nurse,” so I did. Sheryl had left early, so now my nurse was Debbie. She came in and said, “Have you ever used a bed pan?” I said, “Not ‘til now.” John and Debbie had to help me because my left leg was completely numb and my right leg I could sort of control, but not fully. I got on to the bed pan and tried to go, but between John having to hold my leg and having an audience watching me, I couldn’t go. Debbie said, “I can give you a cath, but I don’t want to do too many because of the risk of infection.” She got the cathedar out and put it in and only got out about 100 cc’s, which I hear is not very much. Dr. Brown’s office called right then and Debbie said to tell them she would call them back. She said, “While I’m here, I might as well check you because I am sure that’s why they are calling.” She got rid of the cathedar and began to check me. She said, “I can’t feel your cervix.” John and I both thought that was bad because we know with an epidural, it can slow or stop your progress so we thought my cervix had gone back up. I guess one of us said, “Oh…” and she said, “No. I can’t feel it. It’s gone.” John said, “You mean she’s at 10 already?” and she said, “That’s why I’m still checking, but I’m just about sure…OK. I’ll call Dr. Brown. You’re ready to push. You are going to have this baby quickly.” I don’t know who was more surprised. John or me? Debbie went to call the Dr., and John went to tell our families. Debbie had me push nine times (through three contractions) and said, “Do you want to see?” to John. He went down to look and said, “Oh my goodness! She has a lot of hair!” Then Debbie said, “OK. Stop and I’ll get the doctor.”

4:10 p.m. Dr. Brown had come in, gotten in her scrubs and gloves and hat. Sat down and said, “OK, with this next contraction, let me see you push.” I did and she said, “Great. Keep going. Keep going. Good.” John told me my contractions never went below 30 and were peaking in the 60’s while I was pushing.

4:20 p.m.(approx.)- Dr. Brown did an episiotomy and thankfully, I didn’t feel it at all.

4:25 p.m.- Dr. Brown said, “OK. She is right where we want her. Push with your next contraction.” I pushed three times with that one and she said, “Here comes her head. Great. Now, with this next contraction, push but not so hard.” I looked down and saw her head and said, “Look at that!” I pushed with the next contraction and out she came at 4:28 p.m. Beautiful. Absolutely amazing. John was crying. Lauren was crying. I was amazed. I was crying when they took her to clean her up.

My, my how time does fly!

One year ago today I was SCARED!! I don't mean a little apprehensive, I mean, I was sure labor and delivery was going to kill me. My friend had just had a baby on April 1 and she was still alive, but that was little assurance as to how my sweet little girl would enter the world. I worried all day. I might as well not have even gone to work because I wasn't really there. One little boy said, "Boy Miss Jennifer, your stomach is really big. When's that baby coming out?" "Soon. And then I'll bring her in to visit you OK?" All I could really think was, "...if I live so long."
I know it sounds dramatic, but if you know me, you're not that surprised.
Truthfully, that morning I didn't know tomorrow would be the day. I had a drs. appointment at 3:00 p.m. and she said, "If you want to do it tomorrow, I'll have orders at the front desk for you at 6:00 a.m., or we can wait and see what happens." My mother and sister were with me when I made my decision to "do it tomorrow." WHAT?? TOMORROW IS ONLY HOURS AWAY!! THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS!!! Too late. I had no choice. No turning back.
I was scared and excited and unsure and nervous and scared and anxious and scared and excited.
We didn't sleep that night, I'm not even sure why we tried. But we were both awake long before my alarm went off. My sister played all of our favorite music that next morning on our way to St. Mary's.
What a difference a year makes!!! I wouldn't change a thing.

Party, Party, Party!!!

I had no idea the prep that goes into having a party at your own home. I now understand why people rent out a space in which to party. Things that on an every day basis would not bother me much, now stick out like a sore thumb.
* dust
* dog/cat/Jennifer fur
* carpet fuzz, leaves dragged in from outside, lint, etc., etc., etc....
I realize that no one would probably notice these things but me, but I notice. I have been cleaning and enlisting help in that endevor for about a week. Even closets are getting it. Watch out John...
Maybe it's spring cleaning.
Maybe it nesting-come-lately. I didn't really "nest" last year at this time.
Maybe I'm just a freak.
Or maybe I'm the mother of an almost one-year old and don't know what else to do with myself.

It's coming...

The big birthday. The one we've been watching, waiting for, wondering how it was possible a year can go so fast. Now it is 3 days away. The cake mix is bought (both of them. One for her, one for us), the ice cream is in the freezer, the decorations are starting to take over as are the gifts. Thanks to some help yesterday, all of the presents are now wrapped and ready for ripping. Just tissue paper this time since that is what she seemed to like best at Christmas. Now all we have to do is wait for party time. 2:00 Sunday afternoon. Amamzing!!

Dirty

Our little girl was actually dirty for the first time this weekend. I know it is the first of many times that her hands will be black and her knees will be crusty. Until now, she was "dirty" under her chin from formula, on her bottom from, well, you know what, or on her face and arms from whatever food she was eating. The kind of dirt I am now talking about is actual DIRT. I cleaned her off with a wet wipe before she sat in her car seat. I wonder how long that will last. I bet not long. John is not a fan of his "little girl" getting dirty but I assured him that for about the next 15 years she would be dirty and to get used to it. I know what he means though. The thought of scraped knees and elbows, bumps on the head, dirt in the mouth. None of those thoughts thrill me either and I too want to protect her, but here comes the dirty finger nails, dirt in her hair and ears, stains on clothes from grass and very little we can do to stop the growing up process. Not that we want to entirely, but here comes a new stage again and just when we were trying to get used to the fact that age one is fast approaching.

The miracle of the sippy cup

Just a few days ago, the sippy cup was a big mystery. Now, Lauren is using it like a pro. Tipping it up and everything! When did it click? When did drinking start making sense? I just need to get used to the fact that she is growing up. One more thing, I am glad they don't spill. At least not much...

30 something

I always wondered what it felt like to be 30 and now I know. Not much different than 29 honestly. These are my thoughts: I have a wonderful family, handsome husband who is a great and loving daddy, handsome father, beautiful mother, gorgeous and "famous" sister who makes me laugh EVERYDAY and two wonderful brothers-in-law, a truly happy marriage, a beautiful, healthy, funny, awesome baby girl, a job that doesn't make me cry, a cute dog, fat cat, nice house, good health, great friends all over the country-side, plenty of food, drink and merriment to go around, a cell phone that doesn't let me down very often, "new" coke, pasta, dedicated readers of my blog and 60 or so years to go enjoying those things.
Life is good and getting better everyday.
Keep looking up, the best is yet to come.